Captcha My Heart

First off, we have the winners of the Googlicious Giveaway!! Please give a round of applause to:

• Gigi from Gigi's Ramblings
• Cathy Webster (Olliffe) from Life on the Muskoka River
• Tinkerschnitzel from Zombie Mommy
• Valley Writer from Adventures in the Pioneer Valley
• j.m. neeb from  Ducks Out Of A Row

(Audience breaks into spontaneous, thunderous, enthusiastic applause whilst the winners ruthlessly shove each other out of the way in an effort to reach the stage to accept their Google swag.)

But. Um. I’m not revealing who’s won what…’cause I want it to be a Google’sprise. (Too far? I’m thinking maybe…) Anyway, congrats to the winners and quit shoving and send me your mailing addresses (you can click on the link on my sidebar), so I can get ‘em off to you. And yeah, I know it's five winners and not three...I'm feeling generous. You got a problem with that?? I didn't think so. Again, thanks to all who took the time to do that whole “Facebook like” thing…I know how much effort it took for you to click that bitty button. I’m just saying…

In other news:

Everyone in my office but me has the iPhone…but that means being on AT&T. It’s not always easy being the one who’s different…but every time someone said how great the iPhone was, I’d respond, “I’ll switch to it when Verizon gets it.” To which they would reply, "Yeah. Don't hold your breath."

On Wednesday, February 3rd, Verizon released the iPhone. Current customers (me) who are eligible for an upgrade (me) can go online and order the iPhone when it’s released…at 3am. (uh...)

I know what you’re thinking: “Wha-?! I must have read that incorrectly. I thought she said 3am…as in three o’clock in the morning on a Wednesday when she has to get up for work a mere three hours after that. That can't possibly be right.”

Well, it is correct. I am not usually one to fall for the knot-in-the-stomach, gotta-have-it-or-I’m-gonna-die, gotta-be-the-first-in-line, gotta-gotta-GOTTA-HAVE-IT kind of promotion. As a general rule of thumb, I’ll wait till the initial tsunami passes and then I’ll catch it once calmness and order have been restored. Dragon, Ric Dragon seemed confused and more than a little amused that I was actually considering setting my alarm and basically said, “Are you insane? Who does that for a freakin’ phone? I’m sure it’ll still be there in the morning. –athryn needs her sleep”…which annoyed me, ‘cause he dropped my “K” again…(it's probably under my desk somewhere...) but I think he may have not wanted a sleep-deprived, slap-happy, disjointed Kathryn to deal with on Wednesday. I said I would take his sage wisdom under consideration. Then I promptly disregarded it.

Actually, I decided if I woke on my own in the middle of the night, I’d probably need a sip of water…and my office is on the way to the kitchen…and my laptop might just happen to be open and keyed up to the Verizon site. Hey, it could happen.

I awoke at 3:30…and stumbled into the office and threw myself into my chair. My session with Verizon had timed out, so I had to sign in again. But it was 3-freakin’-thirty-in-the-freakin’-morning and my fingers were not cooperating. First time, I typed it incorrectly. Second time, ditto. By the third time, I’m freaking out ‘cause I’m afraid they’ll lock me out but I type everything slowly and accurately and instead, I’m greeted with a captcha, to make sure I’m a live person and not a spammy, fraudulent computer that’s randomly and independently ordering iPhones for itself:

WTF? I can’t freakin’ read that. I couldn't read that during the day. Are they freakin' kidding me? I thought I was gonna lose it…but by this time, I’m wide awake. Awake enough to type in some random letters, while spewing a non-stop, heartfelt tirade of curses at my computer.

It gave me another shot at it and I got in.

Me: “Upgrade, dammit”.

Verizon: “Okay. Calm down. What accessories do you need?”

Me: “Bite me. It’s freakin’-three-thirty-in-the-freakin-morning. I’m pissed. Screw the accessories.”

Verizon: “Fine. No accessories for you. No screen protector or carrying case or car charger.”

Me: “No, wait! Crap. I need the car charger and the screen protector…”

Verizon: “Nope. It’s too late.”

Me: “No! Back-arrow-back arrow-back-arrow….C’MON.”

Verizon: “Oh, alright. Here you go. Now. Would you like some insurance to go with that?”

I happily declined the insurance, finished up, logged off and immediately sent a text to Taylor (18):

ORDDered $Y new. Iphopne at 3ro so tieesbut so HpAAY


To reinforce my joy, I finished up with some emoticons that I felt adequately expressed my sleep-deprived feelings:

A few hours later, I got this response:

"What the hell? And stop with the faces -.-"

He's such a hypocrite.