From Crap to Snap

The day was Wednesday. I’d had a full, challenging day. I’d haphazardly scooped up a sock on the floor a few days prior and felt a sharp *TWINGE* in my back. I thought, “Oh, no. NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoThisIsNotHappening, NoSireeBob. I’m not going to be one of those people…the ones who say they have a bad back and can’t do stuff. Nope…it ain’t happening..no freakin’ way.” So, I’m living on Advil and Thera-Flu heating packs…or whatever the hell those portable heating things are called. Don’t make me get up to look. It’s definitely not that sciatica-thang again. This is more of the *SPASM* variety…like when I tried to lift that 30-pound potted plant (last year...I don't remember exactly when) over my dining room table…without holding it close to my body, as everyone knows you’re supposed to do. I also doubt I’d done the prerequisite bend at the knees as I lifted, so I should have seen it coming.

This, however, came out of left field. You should see me when I sneeze:

AH-CHOO!! “OW.”

Hilarious.

Wednesday was made even crappier by a meeting that was happening after work…and a good 90 minutes from my office. All I wanted to do was to GO HOME. I was 20 minutes late getting there but it was all over by around 7:30. Nigel (nav) had to direct me home…I’d no clue where I was. If the satellite had gone down, I’d still be out there. At one point, Nigel took me up a freakin’ one-lane road that went straight up a mountain…and I watched in horror as the road became narrower and bumpier...the temperature plummeted from 24 degrees to 19...and the ground on either side of the trail road was covered with several inches of snow. I do believe I said something to Nigel about throwing him face-down in the driveway and “stomping on him until he RUED the day he came off that assembly line…RUED, I say!” but then I begged and pleaded for him to just get me the hell HOME…"I just wanna go home, Nigel..."

Several miles later, Nigel had me turn left onto an impossibly-even-smaller trail road and I was really starting to freak out. I round a bend and I see this:

…and I say, “ooooohhhhh….” to no-one in particular.

And I go a bit further and I see this:

…and I say, “ahhhhh…” and then I come to this:

…and I realize that I have to remind myself to breathe. These photos don’t do it justice, of course. I was in the middle of…something…and I’d no idea where the hell I was.

Off in the distance (but still on the same parcel of land) I see this:

…(see my digital readout on my dash? That’s a nice touch, I think.) Of course, I had to document this wondrous place for all of you, ‘cause…ya know, you’re my buds and all. It was so peaceful...and quiet...and amazing:

I do believe that white light running up that tree on the right is actually sideways-code. I believe it says, “HTMl nViRiL”…which I’m sure is encryption for something mystical. I further maintain that there’s words running down that middle candy cane, which may or may not say, “Donate green to Kathryn immediately via the Paypal link on her sidebar…” but I could be mistaken. I don't think so, though.

As I drove away from this magical place, I snapped this parting shot:

And that’s when I realized that maybe this day wasn’t so crappy after all. The best part was that it turned out I was less than two miles from our home. We've only been here since June. Evidently, I’d never traveled down this particular road. It turns out that it’s some kind of park. Go figure.

I was home in less than five minutes and promptly called Connor from the car. When he answered the phone, I barked, “Come outside…NOW.” He walked out in a t-shirt and bare feet (he’s his mother’s son) and I lowered my window and said, “Get in”. He complied…but not without rolling his eyes and mumbling, “Is this gonna take long?” (To his credit, that’s all he said.)

He admitted later that it was so worth it. I’ll leave you with my artistic shot (also known as the “What-the-hell-was-I-thinking?” shot.) I know you’ll appreciate it anyway.

I’m off to bed, for tomorrow’s slated to be another long day. To those of you (Jerry? Nance? Spot?) I'm thinking about you and I will visit over the weekend. I always love reading you guys. Forgive my absence.

But I’ve just realized that for a little while…I’d forgotten all about my achy-breaky back.