Dragon. Ric Dragon.

So, this whole fulltime-working thing? So. Freakin’. Awesome.

And I’m not just saying that ‘cause my boss may be reading this. (Although he may be…but that’s totally not the point.)

I can already tell there’s going to be more than enough material to choose from for future blog posts. Oh, the stories to tell…

Like this one:

It’s my second week. I’m still wet behind the ears but that doesn’t stop management from throwing me to the wolves assigning me to handle some new blog content for a very large (read: intimidating) client.

For future reference, “management” is defined as Ric. That’s Rick…minus the “k”. He informed me early on that he’s evidently not a big fan of the “k”. Um. And my name shall now become….. “-athryn?” (MOM! What have you DONE to me? And you always said that drinking would get me into trouble…you never said anything about the “K”.)

So, my boss’ name is Dragon….Ric Dragon. (You have to say it in the “Bond….James Bond” rhythm, or it simply won’t flow.) Yes, that’s really his name. And yes, early on I found myself speculating (out loud) about whether he was really born as “Leslie Federmeister”. He was not. As we New Yorkers are a cynical bunch, I’m verifying this with the authorities. I’ll keep you posted.

Anyway. Ric totally runs the show. Of that, there is no doubt. When Ric says, “Jump” we say, “You can’t tell us to do that. That’s employee-exploitation.” But then…ya know, we jump…just in case he decides to call us on it and discovers we’re full of employee-crapola.

I digress. I’m asked to attend this conference call in Ric’s office. Honestly, the rest of the team may have been blind-sided by Ric’s decision to have me in on this, as the meeting had already started when they called me in. I proceeded to jump up, enthusiastically knocking over my chair…and then proceeded to walk away from my computer with my Skype headphones still firmly attached to my head. (Way to invoke confidence, -athryn! That’ll encourage them to keep inviting you!)

I grab my pad and stumble into Ric’s office. I hear a male voice on the speaker phone say, “Is Kathryn there?” and I freeze…(think: deer in headlights) and then I nod vigorously…not realizing that the man can’t actually see me. The three women on the team: Eta, Danielle and Claudia are seasoned professionals. They’re relaxed, confident and prepared. They also told disembodied-voice-man that I was, in fact, present. Danielle starts talking about websites and landing pages and Eta’s chiming in about statistics and analytics and Claudia’s casually breezing through a slew of data off the top of her freakin’ head whilst making what looked to me to be Hello Kitty illustrations in her notebook.

I’m writing notes… “….analytics….statistics…site…wtf?” and trying to look like I’m following this dialogue. I’m seated behind the thorough threesome and just basically trying to keep up. That’s when Ric decides to slip in through the back door and takes a seat directly behind me. Someone had delivered a cellophane-wrapped bouquet of a half a dozen cookies and evidently, Ric decided this was the time to eat one.

***CRUNCH!!!***

Danielle stops, mid-sentence…and shoots me a withering look. Then, she seamlessly picks up her thought.

***CRACKLE!!!***

Again, all eyes glance at me. I’m trying to look all annoyed and enraged at this obvious lack of decorum but I can feel the laughter’s beginning to bubble up, so I cover my mouth with my hand…like I’ve just realized I may have forgotten to brush my teeth that morning.

***CRINK! CRINK! CRINK!!!***

Evidently, Ric decided to go for the rip-the-band-aid-off-fast method…and I’m rewarded one last time with a quick, annoyed glance from the team…which, of course, causes me to turn around to shoot Ric a withering look of my own.

He gives me this innocent smile and offers me the cookie.

I notice he’s already taken a bite...

I believe the meeting ended right around then.

These are my kinda people...I do believe I’m going to fit in just fine.