Social?

I swear. We need a new word for our social networking, as there are times when there is simply nothing “social” about it.

My emails are getting spammier and spammier. It’s insane…and I’d like to personally crucify the person or persons who sold my email address down the river to the ten kazillion illegal drug dealers who are trying to sell me everything from drugs to increase my man-part size to drugs that will make my man-parts bigger.

(No, I do not have man-parts. And I can’t believe you even thought that. Why would you think such a thing? That was mean…and totally un-called for and you should be ashamed. ASHAMED.)

Anyway. Where was I?

Oh, right. My apparent problems with some kind of “dysfunction”. I keep getting these emails like this:

"I was kept up to speed that you still have not requested for those tablets so I presume you did not receive my email some days back. Anyway, as I wrote, it can be obtained with the use of http://Ipromisethislinkwillmakeyouhavemanparts.com.
Rely on me on this one because I and our other friends have been making use of their meds since the year before this. All you have to do now is to have that order."

Then it has a bunch of non-sensical blabber after it, like:

Alarming Spokane lost sheep Enclosed margarine typhoid neutered phlegm Skeptical advancement cantaloupe environment philanthropist cuticle theory botched tummy tuck.

Then he finishes off with:

Talk to you really soon
Michail

Like, I’m gonna read that last part and say, “Oh! It’s my bud Michail…now it all makes perfect sense! Now, where’s that link?”

Then, there’s the Facebook message I get from someone named Ima Cray Seeguy who wants me to “Check out my photos on Facebook!”…and the guy has 0 friends and 0 photos and 0 notes and 1 wall post, which you could not pay me enough money to consider reading…and he has a photo that looks like this:

Gee. And I wonder why I’m not becoming more social.