Three Cheers for the Power of Denial

I cannot overemphasize the importance of utilizing denial in one’s life. It can mean the difference between having a super-crappy weekend or one where you make a conscious decision to be blissfully unaware of the troubles that may await you on Monday.

I mean, if you can’t do anything about it…then what’s the poi- -

*BRRRRING!!! BRRRRRRRRRING!!!*

Kathryn: “Oops. Forgot to put that on ‘mute’…sorry. I’ll just be a sec…Hel-lo?”

Dr. Phil: “Kathryn? Haven’t we discussed the ramifications of condoning denial as a means of potentially not dealing with deep-seated psychological issues in your personal life?”


Kathryn: “Oh, hey Phil….I’m kinda busy right now. Can I call you back?”

Dr. Phil: “Noooooo….no, you may not. We’ve discussed the need for you to ‘take space’ to review and consider the consequences of potentially advising others to ‘opt-out’ of reality.”

K: “What’s that music you’ve got playing in the background, Phil? Is that the soundtrack from the musical ‘Hair’? ‘Cause that sounds suspiciously like ‘Good Morning Starshine’ to me…”

DP: “What? No! No music….now, focus. And remember that any attempt at zig-zagging this issue is not going to work with me, missy.”

K: (Snickers) “Um. ‘Zig-zagging’? I’m not familiar….”

DP (Bristles) “It’s a Dr. Phil Original. It hasn’t really caught on yet in the psychiatric community. That is clearly not the point. You need to realize I am not someone who will easily fall for your distractions or- -"

*BEEP!*

K: “Hey, Phil? Hold on, will ya? I’ve got another call coming in…”

DP: “Kathryn! This is unacceptable! I will not be put on ho- -"

*CLICK*

K: “Hel-lo?”

George Clooney: “Hey, Gorgeous! Rumor has it that you’ve using some of my stuff today. I figured I should check in…you know, in case you need anything clarified.”

K: “Hey, Handsome! You mean the ‘ole pulling the Clooney? Well, I don’t know if that really falls under the heading of denial, sweetie. That’s probably more like deception…or maybe dishonesty….or maybe…ya know, fraud….”

GC: (Chuckles) “You make it sound so….cheap. Besides, it’s not fraud unless charges were filed. So, I’ve just walked out on wiping the floor with Brad on the basketball court for nothing? Frankly, I’m a little hurt.”

K: “Aw. I suppose I could mention it. And if you need to delve into your feelings in more depth, I’ve got Dr. Phil on the other line. I’m sure he’d be happy to help…he’s already miffed at me for pulling the ‘ole ‘ziggity-zaggy’…or some such thing.”

GC: “Ah. You’ve dazzled him with your fancy footwork, eh? I’m not really in a ‘delving’ kinda mood. Tell him to call me later…I’ll give him Brad’s number. He always gets a little bummed after I whoop him on the court.”

K: “M’kay…please hold.”

*CLICK*

K: (Hears someone singing “Gliddy glub gloopy nibby nabby noopy, la-la-la lo-lo”) “Phil? I’ve gotta run. George says to call him later so he can vent.”

DP: “What? George who? Bush...or Clooney?”

K: “Doesn’t matter. Buh-bye.”

*CLICK!*

GC: “I think you’ve got it from here. I’ll send the plane for you tomorrow. I’m taking you somewhere warm.”

K: (Swoons) “You mean I’ll finally be able to feel my toes? I love ya, Georgie! Later, dude…”

Anyway.

The story goes that Clooney was staying at his Aunt Rosemary’s house in his early pre-mega-stardom days and before she left on vacation, she asked her nephew to paint the fence in the back of the property. Upon returning, she remembered the fence and glanced out the window…both surprised and proud that he’d done such a stellar job. Until she walked outside a few days later and discovered he’d only painted the part of the fence that she could see from the house. (I can hear George laughing from here...)

Hence, the phrase “Pulling a Clooney”…which isn’t really anything dirty at all….despite what’s running through your minds right now....

You people are soooo immature.

And what does this have to do with denial, you ask?? Probably not much…but it did take your mind off of things for a few minutes, right?

That’s the basic idea….so, just build from that. I gotta go….my phone’s ringing….