Cows, Facts and Peanut Butter

Connor (12): “Mom! What are you doing out of bed? I thought your back hurt.”

Kathryn (Eternally 25, evidently going on 95): “It does. My blog. Need to blog. Sunday night.”

C: “Why aren’t you talking in complete sentences?”

K: “Dunno. Must be the pain….blend thoroughly with healthy dose of a serious inability to fashion a post worthy of publication…."

C: “What??”

K: (Winces) “I’ve got writer’s block….nothing to say. This blinking curser is mocking me.”

C: “Okaaaay. On an unrelated note, why does the dog have peanut butter on his head?”

K: “Oh, riiiight. That was from last night. I was trying to give him his pill and due to my excruciating pain in leaning forward, my hand may have slipped. There are also probably remnants on the oven door and the kitchen phone as well….”

C: “Ew. I don’t even wanna know.”

K: “That’s okay, ‘cause I’m not offering to tell you. But I’d check the phone before you put it to your ear.”

C: “Good to know. Did you know that without phlegm, your stomach would digest itself?”

K: (Surprised) “What?? Ew. Where the hell did that come from?”

C: “Did you just say ‘hell’? What kind of a role model are you?”

K: (Chagrined) “Sorry. Is this your ‘random fact’ of the day?”

C: “Maybe….have you got anything better?”

K: (Thinks) “Uncle Bob told me that cows that have names produce more milk than cows with no names, proving undeniably that everyone….even cows…prefer to be addressed by name, instead of just a number....I mean, who wants to hear 'This way, #3267-6...time for your milking.' when you can hear 'Bessie! Milkin' time!' See?”

C: (Rolls eyes) “I like my fact better.”

K: (Sighs) “I’m not surprised. Can you GGGoogle ‘removing peanut butter from doggg fur’ for me? I think I need to lie down.”

C: “Sure. Is this peanut butter on your keyboard?”

K: "Crap. No wonder my gggg keeps stickingggg."