Then and Now

Kathryn: (Staring off into the view across the street) “Yikes. I can’t get over the lackluster autumn we’ve had. You know, I think I’ve got a photo on laptop from just about a year ago. I think we should do some comparisons. Put Mother Nature on the stand, so to speak. Send her straight into the Hall of Shame, if you will. Sound good to you?”

“………………….. -----………………………..------……………………”

Kathryn: “Clinton?”

Clinton Kelly (Distracted IV): “Hm? What. Did you say something?”

K: “Why yes….yes, I did.”

“………………………..-----…………………------…………………….”

K: “CLINTON.”

C: “WHAT? I don’t…….. “

K: (Annoyed) “What the hell? Are you even listening to me?”

C: “Look at that ladybug. She’s walking backwards…it’s like she’s doing some sort of bizarre insect-moonwalk or something. Are you getting this?”

K: “Uh huh. Film at eleven. Now, as I was saying…”

C: “No, now YOU wait. You’re the one who’s always telling me to slow down… ‘it’s all in life’s little details…’ yada, yada…so here I’m noticing one of those little freakin’ details you’re always lecturing about and you’re just blowing it off? Like it doesn’t even matter?”

K: (Sighs dramatically) “Well, NO. I mean, YES…it does matter….and no, I’m not ‘blowing it off’. (Sighs again. Smiles wryly.) Tell me all about the ladybug.”

C: “I just did. Look at her. She takes a few steps forward, then she back-steps a few steps…for no discernable reason…then she changes direction. It’s bizarre. This is not typical insect behavior.”

K: (Squinting, frowning) “Huh. So, you think she’s doing some kind of buggie-Macarina? And how do you know what’s ‘typical’, anyway?”

C: (Scowls) “I’ve studied insect behavior. I’m a guy. Guys know bugs.”

K: (Laughs) “Oh, really? Really? Where do you put your Blackberry?”

C: (Confused) “What? What do I…what? What does that have to do with- - -..."

K: “I’ll re-phrase. Where do you store your Blackberry when you leave the house?”

C: “In my inner-jacket pocket. Sometimes in my shirt pocket. And your point is….?”

K: (Sighs) “Yeah, well... we gals don’t have shirt pockets. It’s just another one of those times when I wish I was a guy. You get to pee standing up, you have that deep voice that makes the kids listen to you…and as if that wasn’t enough, you get to be cowboys…”

C: (Serious blue-eyed stare) “If you don’t start making sense in about five seconds, I’m going to use my Blackberry to call those nice men…”

K: (Rolls eyes) “Women can’t be cowboys. They’re cowBOYS…and the hats are a major problem for the hair. We’d never allow it.”

C: “Five….four….three…”

K: “My POINT is that just because you are of a certain gender, you don’t get to automatically have expertise, or huge advantages in every stereotypical gender-related subject. Such as bugs…or bodily functions, or electronic equipment. Just 'cause we gals don't go on and on about something doesn't mean we're not extremely familiar. We just don't talk about it incessantly. And don’t think I haven’t noticed that we’re supposed to carry OUR Blackberries in our bags, where they get mixed in with Kleenex and purell wipes and then we look stupid when we have to root around for them and we miss the call. You guys get to whip those babies out of your man-holsters on the first ring. And look how long it took for them to develop something that was even remotely meant as the female equivalent to Viagra! Don't think we're not aware of this....'cause we totally are.”

C: “You’re ranting. You know this.”

K: “Yeah? Well, your ladybug’s dead. See?”

C: “Maybe she's just sleeping. Performing all those moves would take a lot out of anyone. Show me those photos. Want me to hold your Blackberry?”

K: “Yeah….that would be nice.”

(We hear the song “Little Wonders” begin to play…. “Time falls away…but these small hours…these little wonders….still remain….”)

October 17, 2008:

October 25, 2009:

Different time of day? Sure, but photos don't lie.

Mother Nature? Rebuttal??