24 Little Hours

I do declare that I want today to be over. Finis…..done….kaput.

If yesterday was the splinter in my finger, today was more like passing a kidney stone.

It was a dark and stormy night morning. By 7am, there was still no sign of daylight. However, we did have pelting rain, howling winds and temps in the low fifties.

Welcome to late October in New York! Please deposit all flip-flops into 6-month-storage and wave a fond farewell to fireflies, the smell of freshly mowed grass and driving with all the windows down....we're in for a bumpy ride!

It’s 8:30am and I’m finishing up my morning shower. I’ve got the portable heater running, in an attempt to chase away the ever-present chill that is built into the stone tiles in the bath:

Yes, it’s a beautiful bath…but lest we forget, this is a rental. This does not take away its beautifulness….it simply means I’m only borrowing.

The house was a whopping 62 degrees and I’d opted to use the space heater in the master and the 2nd one in the bath...just to get me up and out the door. No sense in heating up the entire upstairs just for little ole me, right?

Riiiiight.

However, upon exiting the shower the power went out. It got very dark…and very COLD.

All I could manage was a strangled “Eeeek!” I waited for the power to return. It did not.

I quickly dressed and checked my watch. I’ve got one hour before I have to leave for a meeting. A meeting that’s 47 minutes away. Approximately. Give or take...a monsoon or two.

Only now, I can’t dry my hair. No matter. It’s raining cats ‘n dogs out there anyway. And the rain is coming down sideways, so you know that no umbrella can withstand that.

I go to apply my makeup but I can’t see anything because it’s a lighted makeup mirror….minus the light.

Ahhh. We see the pattern emerging....no??

I think of poor Connor (12), on his middle-school trip to Manhattan in this torrential rain. That’s when I realize that if the power’s out, we have no telephone. All our phones are cordless, so even though we have an emergency backup battery on the cable modem, I still can’t make/receive a call. I make sure my cell is turned all the way up and I finish getting ready. I can’t do any more about the phone.

I’m gonna be late. As I lean down to retrieve my dropped earring, I feel a gush and realize I’ve got a whopper of a nose bleed. That’s another thing I love about winter….all that dry air in the house makes us susceptible to nose bleeds. Only I don’t have time for this and is that blood on my blouse?

Crap! Crap! Dammit! Now, I’m officially late. I stuff wads of tissue in both nostrils, quickly change my blouse, grab my bag, unplug the heaters, hope all the lights are off and run down the stairs and into the garage. I throw my jacket onto the passenger seat, plug in my cell, hit the button for the navigation system and simultaneously start the car as I hit the button for the garage door opener.

Only there’s no power.

“Chid! Chid! Chid!” I yell. I can’t swear properly ‘cause I’ve got the equivalent to 5 tissues stuffed up my nose. I turn off the engine. I get out of the car. I stare at the garage door.

“Opet choo spupit doah!” I shout. I am met with silence….complete and utter silence.

“Oh, chamin…dis iz umbelievabbbl” I shout, waving my arms like a half-crazed maniac…which I suddenly realize I probably am. Now, I’m half-laughing half-crying and it’s coming out like a bark and that’s when I spot the red pull cord on the ceiling and I jump up and PULL and I hear *CLICK!!* and then I can manually open the heavy, dirty door. There’s water, and dirt and slime on the bottom of this door, but I don’t care ‘cause “Ahm fwee!!”

I back the car out of the garage and then I hit the button for the door to close.

I am a complete idiot….yes, I am. At least I'm consistent.

The remainder of the day was relatively uneventful….but extremely wet. My nose cooperated, I was only 15 minutes late for the meeting (everyone else was late, too) and my repeated requests to Connor for details about his trip were met with one-word responses. All I got was “fine”, “long” and “boring” as descriptive words. We arrived home to a house complete with power.

It’s 8:45pm now and I’m officially declaring this day to be OVER. My car is back in the garage.

However, I still can’t figure out how to make the door open again automatically….it goes through the motions, makes the noise…but the door remains steadfastly open/closed.

Suggestions? Anyone? C’mon…don’t make me look for the manual, dammit!