Reboot. Regroup. Whatever.

And so, I’ve spent the day regrouping. Such a simple word, with so much effort behind it. Trying so hard to find that magical balance between doing what you love, doing what you have to do and doing what you don’t want to do, yet have to do, even though you don’t want to do it.

Do we need to review? Good. ‘Cause I don’t want to. (10 Seuss points for me.)

Today I got to thinking about….well, days; as in the days of the week. As in the names of the days of the week. (See what insomnia does to a person?)

Seriously. Who exactly was the guy who got to make up the names of the days of the week?
I know we’ve had them for a long time and I do believe it’s time for a change. And who better than moi to make these illustrious changes?

Okay. This is serious stuff, so I’m going to give this a tremendous amount of thought.

Monday: Well, this name sucks, ‘cause it’s a terrible day. We shall re-name it “Eff It Day”. I’d like to use another word besides “Eff” but I’m behaving. We’ll still hate the day, but the name will at least be more appropriate.

Tuesday: “Tues….twos…toos?” It’s just weird. Since we’ll have survived EffItDay by this time, we’ll call it “Better Than Eff It Day”. ‘Cause it will be. Better, I mean.

Wednesday: The strangest one of all in my book. “Wednes?” What the hell does that even mean? Wedding day? Hump day? A-HA! “Wed Hump Day”, it is! All marriages will take place on this most auspicious day and couples everywhere’ll get in their weekly tête-à-tête.

Thursday: Hm. Tough one. “Thurs” Well, everyone will be resting from weddings and being intimate and all, so let’s call this one “Ahh Day”. You can call it simply “A Day” if you’re single and not getting any, if you like.

Friday: This one’s easy: “Whee! Day”. I don’t care if it’s more complicated with the addition of the exclamation point…live with it.

Saturday: Another tough one. “Satur?” Satisfied? Relieved? Thanking all that is holy that another freakin’ week from hell is over?? (Too much?) How about “Phew Day”? Works for me.

Sunday: Mixed feelings with this one. You’re mellow…you’re in the groove….but that dreaded EffItDay is around the corner...ready to bite you. We need to slow down on this day….stretch it out...so we shall call it “Never End Day”.

And so, I proclaim….this (whatever) day of (whatever month this is) to be true and legal and binding and stuff:

The new, cool days of the week:

EffItDay
BetterThanEffItDay
WedHumpDay
AhhDay (couples) ADay (singles)….your call...take it week-by-week, if you like.
Whee!Day
PhewDay
NeverEndDay

So, there you have it. My work here is done. You’re very welcome.

Tomorrow, I shall awake rested, rejuvenated and full of vim and vigor…ready to tackle BetterThanEffItDay. I’ll return all emails, submit all articles and be back to my serious responsible self.

‘Cause we all know she’s in there…..somewhere.