It Could Always Be Worse

I am not a pack rat. I really, truly am not. However, I seem to be significantly challenged when it comes to creating and maintaining some kind of order when it comes to the hundreds…nay, thousands….of papers spread all over my office and my bedroom.

You see, the office is off of the master bedroom…so, naturally one room kinda flows directly into the other. Same color carpet, same wall color, same piles of work–related equipment as well as the ever-present papers themselves.

In the office itself, you will find:

• One laptop
• One back-up thingie in case the laptop crashes, courtesy of that eppy of Sex & The City when Carrie never backs up and Aiden kisses her while she’s typing and she gets “da bomb”.
• A digital clock (‘cause my watch, the time on my computer and my cell’s time could all be wrong…ya never know)
• A minimum of 20 pencils, of which approximately 5 have no points and 3 have no erasers.
• A highlighter in every color known to man.
• A Sharpie in every color known to man.
• A pad of post-its in every size, color and shape known to man.
• A printer/scanner/ice cream maker. But the ice cream maker part doesn’t work, for some reason.
• Paper for the printer
• A fax machine. (I know, I know….but I opted for the ice cream maker feature instead.)
• Paper for the fax machine.
• Paper to print pictures, special paper to print special pictures, colored paper to print…flyers?...kits to make decals for tee-shirts, unique post-its, CD covers, business cards and printed sticks that you shove in the dirt in the garden so that when nothing grows, you’ll know what was supposed to be there.
• An encyclopedia
• A Thesaurus (Ed note: I spelled thesaurus wrong)
• Assorted office supplies including (but not limited to) paper clips, tape, staplers, white-out, little-teeny post-its that point to things, envelopes, little-teeny post-its that book mark pages, several rubber bands, a ruler, 3 unidentified power cords and a whistle.

Then there’s the papers. Oy.

I’m freelancing for three different companies right now and I often work better standing up. (Don’t say it. ONE Burger King joke and you’re officially banned….I’ve got talent, dammit!)

Every morning, my dresser has 12 (yes, that’s twelve) separate piles of papers, neatly piled…one vertically, next horizontally…you get it.

These would include:

• Parts of newspapers I haven’t had time to read.
• Articles I’ve completed, but haven’t had time to file away.
• My “eventually I’ll just chuck it pile”, which consists of Macy’s 1-day discount cards, postcards reminding me that the oil needs changing on my car and that I’m probably almost out of salt for the water softener.
• Taylor’s pile of shit, crap, stuff for school.
• Connor’s pile of shit,crap, stuff for school.
• Kevin’s pile of shit,crap, stuff for school.
• 2 folders (1 yellow, 1 red) on ongoing projects
• 3 unopened cards from relatives. I haven’t opened them yet because I know what they are…they’re thank you cards for gifts. “Thanks so much for the (fill in the blank), I/we just love it. I’m/we’re so happy you could make it to the party!” Yada, yada.
• Bills
• Articles assigned (not completed) and ongoing list of possible pitches
• Online research on how to write my Pulitzer novel.
• Research/assorted notes on blogging/bloggers/blog-ettes…who’s doing what, with whom and don’t forget to comment on THAT HILARIOUS THING. (Which could be just about anything….or anyone’s.)

So, there you have it. A (scary) (unbalanced) peek into my most-used daily living space. Make yourself at home…if you can find a place to sit. Just don't mess up the order of the piles, 'cause most of 'em are going right back onto the dresser in about ten minutes.