Houston?

Today was a day filled with communication difficulties. I am officially putting it on my calendar:

See? It’s got the little mad-face icon and everything. Today, electronics and I did not get along.

Today was a day to do many, many things. All of which involved using electronic devices. Okay, minds out of the gutter, people. We’re talking respectable, serious phone calls, emails and the like. Only, technology evidently was NOT in the mood for ME.

I had 4 phone calls to return. Four. That’s not so many, right?

First call, got voicemail. Leave a message at the beep…(I’m still grappling with this…is there anyone on the planet that does not know what to do with the beep?)

Second call, same. (Kathryn checks time…is it within the acceptable 30-minute before or after timeslot for people to be either preparing for, or returning from lunchtime?) No, all clear.

Huh. These people called me, right? I mean, they’re waiting for me to call back…that’s how it works, right?

By the third voicemail intervention, I’m getting a little freaked out. My monologue is memorized and I’m repeating the same thing….. “It’s Kathryn…returning your call…it’s yada, yada time on yaya yada day (they know this, of course…it’s on their voicemail)…well, I guess we’re playing a little phone tag here (light chuckle for emphasis on this never-before-used-voicemail-joke), so…I guess you’re it!”

When it happens again on the fourth call, I’m looking around for hidden cameras and remembering that old airline commercial where the guy is standing in the middle of the deserted city street shouting “WHERE IS EVERYBODY????”

(Okay, when I googled "British Airways TV ad where is everybody?", this was one of the first hits. YOU figure it out.)

As I’m leaving yet another witty voicemail message, I hear the call waiting *beep* and realize I’m getting another call. But, I’ve just begun leaving this message…in fact, I’ve only gotten to the “Hi, this is Kath-“ when I hear the beep. Pulling the phone away from my ear, I look at my caller-ID…(to me, one of the greatest inventions since the intermittent windshield wiper blades, but we shall save that for another day) and what I see it is the number I’ve just dialed.

So. Is the read-out showing me the last number I dialed, or the number that’s coming in??

And meanwhile, I sound like an idiot ‘cause now I’m stumbling for words…realizing I’m still being recorded…somewhere….to someone…..

Who was I calling again?

I couldn’t take it anymore. I disconnected the phone and it immediately began to ring, causing me to fling it into the bed and causing me irreparable harm and much emotional suffering, which shall be brought up in my lawsuit, filed in la-la land…(there’s still room if you want to make it one of those big “et al” kinda suits...just let me know, ASAP).

Of course, the person calling was the last person I’d called:

• she’d missed the call
• it had gone to voicemail
• She’d seen my number on her caller id
• She was calling me back.

I’d love to listen in on the recording I’d left for her…I can only imagine how intelligent, professional and poised I must’ve sounded.

Just another day.