Too Good to Be Google True

I hit Snopes today in hopes of uncovering the endless rouse of “Google Job Opportunities” postings I’ve seen of late.

Here’s what they had to say:

In 2009 a proliferation of seeming newspaper articles touting "Google Job Opportunities," "Google Money Master," "Easy Google Profit," "Google Cash Kit," and the like began popping up on the Internet. Such come-ons are typically emblazoned with "As seen on" taglines followed by an impressive array of logos, including those of ABC, AOL, CNN, MSNBC, and USA Today.

(Examples: "Breaking News: Google Now Hiring People to Work from Home," "Breaking News: Google Now Hiring Americans and Canadians to Work from Home," "Millions of People Without Jobs, But No Worries, Google Is Paying Big for Home Workers.")

As for the publications supposedly reporting these stories, while there was a New York Tribune long ago, in 1924 it merged with the New York Herald to form the New York Herald Tribune. Even that newspaper is no longer around; it went out of business in 1967. As for the ostensible Los Angeles Tribune, that paper is wholly fictional; it existed only in the television show Lou Grant.

I’m sorry….I simply must interject here. What kind of world do we live in where the bad guys are so without morals that they will prey on innocent fans of the series Lou Grant? Wait. Wouldn’t the fans of Lou Grant be the first to realize the ludicrous-ness of this very statement and immediately see through this charade? Whatever. Proceed.

While the promise of vast riches to be gained through working from home is held out to those seeking an answer to their financial problems, that promise is but the worm used to entice the fish into biting down on the hook. Those who sign up for such kits will not soon find themselves on Easy Street; instead, they will find their bank accounts tapped to the tune of approximately $80 a month.While prospective job seekers are told they need to pay a $2 charge for kits that supposedly contain the step-by-step instructions on how to begin working from home (often explained as Google's way of sifting the serious from non-serious candidates), a closer examination of the Terms and Conditions associated with the programs applicants are signing up for reveals they are instead authorizing monthly charges either to their bank accounts or credit cards, usually to the tune of about $80 a month.

Those who attempt to cancel these charges find the task a difficult one, in that only rarely does anyone at the phone number supplied for that purpose actually come onto that line.

Can you just imagine? Seriously. I’d cancel the credit card, pronto. No questions asked. What else could you do?

Those still not convinced they haven't just found the answer to their prayers are invited to closely examine the various web page come-ons. Usually, buried at the bottom of the page in fine print is a statement to the effect that "Google is in no way associated with this website."

So. What lesson have we learned from all this, grasshoppers?

• A fool and his money are soon parted.
• If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
• Only an idiot neglects to read the fine print.

And the most important lesson of all? Sometimes, it really does pay to sit on the couch and watch those old eppys of Lou Grant ‘cause you never know when you’ll learn something. Oh, Lou….ya never stop teaching us…do you??