Nothin' About Nothin'

It’s Friday night. I’ve just flipped through 658 channels and there’s nothing good on teevee, unless I want to watch “Bubble Butt Sluts 2” (as this title naturally caught my eye)… but I’m thinking I probably can’t appreciate it if I haven’t seen the first one.

What do you suppose this movie would be about, do you think? Possibly women with questionable morals who have issues with “gas down below” and were not able to resolve said issues in the first installment??

I think not.

I’ve also stood in front of the fridge and proclaimed (to the dog, since no-one else seems to be listening to me) that there’s nothing good to eat in this house. Forget the fact that I’m the one responsible for the shopping. That’s really not the point…now is it?

Every time I sit down somewhere and then I get up, the dog jumps up and takes my spot…leaving it smelling like wet dog. It’s not his fault…it’s been raining all day…and I’ve been wiping him down. He stands there sulkily while I do it, giving me this withering look that basically says “I’m still gonna smell like wet dog, so what’s the point?”

I need to get up from the computer….I’ve been sitting here virtually all day and I’m losing the feeling in my butt and I’m worried I might develop a blood clot in my leg from all this inactivity in my lower half, while I’ll probably get carpal tunnel syndrome, or at minimum “pointer-toggle-finger” syndrome, which I’m blaming completely and totally on Facebook.
Whom do I speak to about getting an indictment, or a subpoena, or a restraining order for this?

I’d Google it, but…well, see above.

I’ve gotta get up. I still have two articles to write.

I’ll do it….tomorrow.