Flippant

Somewhere in the Hudson Valley of New York:

Two seemingly innocent-looking suspects were seen lurking outside the home of a local resident, who shall remain anonymous to protect her identity. (It was me.) Said anonymous resident became immediately distrustful when she noticed the smaller of the two trespassers looking suspicious.

“It almost seemed like he was on the lookout for something, while the other one was getting ready to do something...unscrupulous” said Kathryn Anonymous. “And I could swear I heard the bigger one say something like ‘Lefty? What, exactly am I lookin’ for, anyway?’…although I may have misheard him,” remarked Kathryn Anonymous.

Although one may have doubted the validity of this homeowner’s claim, there’s no mistaking the clear conversation these two suspects seem to be having with someone within this vehicle. Anonymous sources claim to have possibly heard the smaller suspect say “How much?” but this could not be confirmed and is considered hearsay and is thereby not admissible in court.

At this point, the eyewitness, (still me.) camera in hand, captures the suspects deeply engrossed in a dialogue with the unknown delinquent in the car. Either that, or said lawbreakers alleged individuals had become mesmerized by something possibly shiny, foul-smelling or utterly gross which was underneath said vehicle.

Incredibly, (above image considered EXHIBIT#2040(dot)C, for the official transcripts) the felons, villains, parties were allegedly heard to say "SCORE!" (again: hearsay) and were seen “sauntering casually away from the shady looking automobile", which then "pealed rubber out the driveway and roared down the street at an un-Godly speed,” said Kathryn Anonymous.

Finally, this is the last known shot taken of these shady characters before they disappeared into the nearby brush:

….and the homeowner is convinced this individual’s giving her “da bird” on the way out with his cute, fluffy, white tail.

You be the judge.