Sneaky Bastards

Pet peeve time, people. Or, more aptly…we may have to host our own awards show for the most devious scams of the year.

I have two contenders…I’m sure ya’ll have your own to add to the list:

Notice the not-so subtle way they try to get me to open this email. First, there’s the “But you have to click!” note. Then, if that doesn’t work, they try the “Please respond or Jody may think you said no”…followed by the heart-breaking little sad face. How can I resist?

They’ve even offered me a backup, on the off-chance that I cannot view this email….just “click here” and we’ll be sure to download that virus right onto your desktop, lickety-split!

Contender #2 comes with no visual….just my frustration dipped in sarcasm…wrapped up in a veil of indignation:

Today I received 2 calls from a telemarketer. Not so unusal, I’ll admit…altho I am registered on the National Do Not Call Registry, which evidently does not amount to much, based on today’s experience.

The sadistic twist to today’s double-whammy was what happened when I answered the phone:

Set scene. Telephone peals. Kathryn is in mid-thought…knee-deep in no less than two articles that she’s attempting to write simultaneously…a God-given gift that leaves her both breathless with gratitude and gnarly with irritation at being disturbed whilst trying to find a synonym for empowerment.

Kathryn: (Annoyed) “Hello.”

Automated Recording: “PRESS ONE FOR ENGLISH! PRESS TWO FOR ESPANOL!”

Kathryn hangs up…makes half-mental note of 866 number…growls in frustration…throws handset a good 15’ onto bed.

Approximately two minutes later, phone rings again.

Kathryn: (Notes “905” area code…confused) “WHAT?”

Automated Recording: “PRESS ONE FOR ENGLISH! PRESS TWO FOR ES--------"

In a moment of sheer insanity, Kathryn presses 1.

Automated Recording: “THANK YOU. PLEASE HOLD FOR ONE OF OUR CUSTOMER REPRESENTATIVES.”

Are they freakin’ kidding me?!?

I Googled both phone numbers and it’s some unscrupulous company based in Canada. The people reporting them to “Who called us” and other tracking sites said that after an interminable amount of time, a representative came on the line and began talking about insurance for credit cards. When queried as to the identification of this company, the rep said that they were not at liberty to divulge that information.

Can you imagine??

I’ve reported both numbers on the Do Not Call Registry site. I’m confident the FBI, CIA, FDA and AMA will be up their butts in no time.

You know I’ll keep you posted.