They say that 40 is now the new 30….and if you’re fortunate enough to be blessed with looking ten years younger than your actual age, then that would mean: (Insert whistles, applause and the Beatles singing “They Say It’s Your Birthday”...na-na-na-na-NA, na-na-na...here) Happy Day, C-man...Par-tay!
Happy 20th Birthday to my ever-lovin’ I.V. Clinton Kelly!
Kathryn: “So…how does it feel to be 40 30 20, big guy?”
Clinton: “Age is merely a number. And thanks for coming up with that terribly flattering image. Isn’t it enough that I’m 40, 30, whatever…at least give me my dignity…for today, anyway.”
K: “If you wanted your dignity, then you shouldn’t have agreed to be my I.V. Surely you’ve realized that by now…”
C: (Sighs) “Agreed." (Rubs hands together) "So, what did you get me?”
K: “You mean besides the cake, the candles, the internet shout-out, the regularly scheduled mention of your name in association with mine (which will undoubtedly be worth more than any amount of green someday) and the special, limited edition Chapstick I found that tastes exactly like Hershey’s Chocolate?” (Extends hand, revealing the teeny-tiny wrapped gift.)
C: “How do know it tastes exactly like Hershey’s Chocolate? You didn’t taste it, did you?”
K: (Bristles) “Don’t be ridiculous…what kind of a person would do something like that?”
C: “The kind of person who won’t make eye contact with me now. There’s a seal on these things when they’re new, ya know.”
K: “Well, you can’t return it. I got it through an internet site that sells one-of-a-kind, rare, exotic gifts for the person who’s…ya know, really hard to buy gifts for.”
C: “Um. I don’t know what to say. Do I get a card?”
K: “Uh. Sure. Can you give me a minute? I think I left my hair dryer on….”
C: (Rolls eyes) “I can’t believe you forgot the card. It’s not like you haven’t had time to prepare for this…I’ve dropped the hints, left multi-colored post-its in your car, your bag, on your computer, sent you emails, left you text messages…how hard is it to walk into a Hallmark store and buy a freakin’ card?”
K: “Are you through? I mean, seriously…you’d think you’d just given birth or something.”
C: "Well, it’s the anniversary of my birth---"
(Kathryn opens front door…in pours family, friends, co-workers, the CEO of Macy’s, Oprah, Martha, The Donald, Olivia, the President of TLC and the entire cast from the movie Poltergeist.)
Kathryn: “Your lips look a little dry….got any Chapstick?”
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Clinton Kelly Day
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Happy belated Birthday to Clinton Kelly!!! Wherever he is!
Today's the day, bay-bee...and you know he thanks you.
So that's why he never wrote me back when I sent him a "Happy Birthday!" You were getting him drunk. No problem, much better gift than crappy, old, FB card!
:-)
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