Sing It with Me Now:

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL.

That’s it.

Only, that’s the clean version of what it’s doing outside. Those who know me well understand that I’ve got another word in mind…and it ain’t “frightful”.

There is no delightful fire to chase away the bone-numbing chill I feel, so I’m happily settling for the next best thing: the largest wine glass in my collection...with a generous serving of Cloudy.

(In re-reading the beginning of this post, I realize that there is nothing yet to differentiate this scenario from any other evening, so allow me to elaborate…)

I’ve just returned from THE MOST HARROWING DRIVING EXPERIENCE OF MY WHOLE, ENTIRE LIFE.

There. Does that clear it up a bit? (Takes hefty gulp delicate sip of Cloudy)

I’d promised to pick Jack up from the airport….and everyone knows that this is the ultimate demonstration of friendship. I am unclear of how I got wrangled persuaded into this responsibility, although I am relatively certain that I was not of clear mind at the time. I simply recall that the next morning, after one of our group Eat-and-Drink-till-you-drop gatherings, the words “PICK UP JACK AT THE AIRPORT” appeared on my fridge calendar for January the 6th. (For the official record, I’d like everyone to note that it was NOT my handwriting…to the best of my knowledge.)

For anyone still unaware, today is January the 6th. I knew Jack was arriving at 7:05pm on Southwest Airlines from Austin. What I hadn’t realized was that he was arriving in Albany, New York.

“But”….you may ask… “You don’t live near Albany, New York!”

Excellent deduction, faithful readers! This is correct. I live approximately two and one quarter HOURS from Albany, New York!

Why then, you may wonder….is Jack arriving to this particular location?

BECAUSE JACK IS INSANE.

Okay, so the actual reason may have something to do with "long-term parking rates and it’s-not-really-all-that-far-if-you-speed"…yada, yada…blah, blah, blah.

All I know is that this time, it was my responsibility to collect said Jack and deposit him to his humble abode and then return to mine…and there’s a storm a-brewin’.

I don’t do well with snow. Have I mentioned this?

I called Tonia when I reached Nowhere-Airport to complain, as Jack’s flight was delayed a whopping 15 minutes. I also took this picture:

…which of course, is blurry and could’ve been taken anywhere. There must’ve been a whopping 9 people in this airport at this particular time (Clinton Kelly would have a knowing appreciation for this fact, I think) and then it was a hop, skip and a jump from there to a rousing discussion about the economy.

By that time, Jack had arrived and I told Tonia I had to go.

The ride home was treacherous….say it with me now: TREACHEROUS.

Snow….ice….I basically bitched and moaned a good portion of the way…swore I was moving to California and also threatened to send off several scathing emails to my local highway department, as I was convinced that the snowplow-guy in front of us was just killing time till his shift ended and wasn’t actually dropping ANYTHING.

Jack assured me I was mistaken….that this was an ADVENTURE!...and not life-threatening.

I respectfully disagree.