Why?

Why does the dishwasher soap always make a sound like it’s vomiting when it gets near the bottom? That gasping, wheezing and choking inevitably sends me back to the last time I had food poisoning.

Why doesn’t my cell’s voicemail include the time that someone called? It’ll give the date…and the caller’s phone number…why not the time? Doesn’t Verizon feel that time is important?

Why is it that I need to color my hair every three weeks…but my hair hasn’t gotten any longer since 2004?

Why do people still say “I’m not available…please leave a message after the beep and I’ll call you back as soon as possible” on their voicemail? Is there really anyone out there who does not know what to do?

(Author’s note: My machine simply states “Hi. Leave a message…you know the drill.”)

Why do hot dogs come in a pack of seven but the buns come in a package of 8? Is this in case you accidentally drop one of the buns and “opt out” of the five-second rule?

Why are there so many automobile commercials featuring cars as Christmas gifts? Is anyone really throwing a bow on one and slipping it under the tree?

Why is it that any child can open the childproof protective caps on the prescription bottles but it takes me twenty minutes, a pair of scissors and a box cutter to break open a new CD?

Why do I keep getting a message from Phillips Sonicare with the subject line “Have you changed your brush head?” I don’t even own a Sonicare toothbrush.

Why aren’t the washing machine and the dryer synched to finish at the same time?

Why do fortune cookies no longer give fortunes? I think they should be re-named proverb cookies.

Why does that first mug of coffee in the morning taste so much better than the second? (Or the third mugs…?)

And finally, why is it so hard to wake up during the week but effortless to wake at 6am on the weekends?

Hmmmmmmm?