R-E-S-P-E-C-T

In my house, today was the unofficial First Day of Summer. The boys are officially DONE with school (insert mind-blowing *WOO-HOO!* here) and they’ve effortlessly made the transition from diligent early-rising-hard-workers to couch/computer potatoes...with nary a backward glance.

So, you can imagine my utter surprise when Connor offered to take a ride with me to pick up a few things at the market:

Me: (Both hesitant & suspicious) “Okay….but why? What do you want in return?” (Said with a very poor imitation of "The Godfather"...which was lost on him anyway.)

Connor: “Nothin’. Well….maybe….I dunno….a Hershey bar?”

Me: “I can do that.”

We’re no sooner in the door when I remember that I want them to order this Ciao Bella Gelato in “Key Lime”…I had it at Jackie’s and it is to die for. So, we have to wait for the girl to find the guy who can order the goods. Three minutes later and Connor’s already DONE. Telling me it’s taking too long and that I’ve got a troubling addiction to key-lime-anything and how I need to seriously talk to someone about this. The guy shows up a minute later and says he’ll call me by Friday if he can get it and by Thursday if he can't. ("What? Okaaaay...")

We then proceed to pick up the items on my list:

• Rye bread
• Cole slaw
• Roast beef (not the fatty one!)
• Seltzer
• Sudafed
• Broccoli
• Cole slaw (evidently, I must’ve tried to have another sandwich and realized I was still out)
• Light bulbs
• 3-onion dup (I think that’s supposed to be dip)

By the time we finish at the deli counter, Connor’s had enough. He’s commandeered the cart and is recklessly moving at warp speed down the aisles and people are jumping out of the way and giving ME the dirty looks.

When he hit the produce department, I'd lost him….I got distracted by these:



…which looked to me to be green-ish, shriveled, dried-out, pumpkin-related things….
Then, I saw the sign:



So…okay. I get the “tomato” reference….but they crossed it with…what?...an armadillo?
I googled it and got a whopping four hits. None of them explained what it was. And no…I did not buy any…not that Connor would’ve given me time to scoop some up anyway.

By the time we load the items onto the conveyor belt, I’m noticing several chocolate bars, two packs of gum and a box of Tic-Tacs, which Connor exclaimed over…due to the extremely effective marketing ploy of the company releasing the exact same mint in a blue plastic box…instead of the usual clear. For this, some guy got a $5k bonus and sales of tic-tacs are probably up 15%...mainly because of mothers like ME and kids like HIM.

After arriving home and unpacking, I hear a loud ruckus in Connor’s room, so I go to investigate. What I find is that the artfully hung window treatments I’d so precariously installed upon moving in is now sadly bowing in the center…and it’s starting to become clear as to why.

Connor (ya gotta love this kid) was placing his beloved “Luigi” bean-bag Nintendo-character so he’s perched on the center of the curtain rod:



Then, he would take aim with his nerf machine gun…………and FIRE!:



….shooting until he hit poor Luigi, causing him to topple off said rod and land with a resolute *thump!* on the floor:




I guess I’m not the only one who doesn’t get any respect around here…