Just Roll With It

I have many favorite expressions. We all do…those ones that just keep popping out of our mouths, whether we’d like them to or not. Each expression generally covers a different emotion and they often wind up overlapping:


Bored:

• Whatever.
• Uh-huh. Whatever.
• Really? Um-hmm….whatever.

Surprised:

• Yikes!
• Are you freakin’ kidding me?
• Unbelievable.

Annoyed/Angry:

• Oh, this is NOT happening.
• Un-freakin’-believable.
• Just shoot me now.

Happy:

• Oh, I’m loving this…
• This is fabulous!
• ILoveIt, ILoveIt, ILoveIt!

Then you have those days where you wind up using almost all of them:

A morning trip to the liquor store results in the discovery of epic proportions…the Cloudy Bay has been restocked! “ILoveit, ILoveit, ILove it!” she dances down the New Zealand section of the store, alternating between a Fred Astaire two-step and a John Travolta/Saturday Night Fever roll-and-point…gazing lovingly at the treasures nestled in her cart. (The employees of said liquor store have a gentle tolerance for my passion and not even an eyebrow is raised anymore during my runway dance.)

Taylor (age 16) comes home from his friend’s house. He walks in the door with a scowl on his face (this is not surprising in any way.) Then he shows me this gash in his tongue…he’d evidently been monkeying around on his friend’s outdoor trampoline when he flew…a bit too high…and a bit too far…and somehow bit his tongue on landing. “YIKES,” I exclaim, seeing the injury. “Ib weery hots,” he says. “Do we hab ame ice cweem? Iam hungwy.”

“Uuuuh…..ice cream? Gee….I dunno…..,” I mutter….thinking of the Caio Bella Galato stuffed all the way in the back of my freezer, behind the peas and the Healthy Choice Meatloaf dinner. In the end, I surrender said frozen little-slice-of-heaven and half-heartedly suggest that maybe he doesn’t have to eat the whole thing.

“Whatever,” I think as I walk out of the room, as Taylor takes his first heaping teaspoon.

The next morning, I wake to the empty carton...laying in the sink on its side (Heaven forbid he throw it away in the garbage) and I think “Just shoot me now.”