Freddie the Frog

There’s a not-so-obvious downside to not opening up your pool right away in the warmer months….now, we’ve got a new houseguest…and I’m thinking he’s getting used to our hospitality:




(It does eventually occur to me to speak...it just takes me 15 seconds or so...patience, people....)
His name? Freddie.

His species? I believe he’s a frog, but that’s open to debate, since he’s never been technically seen.


Connor, (the first one to be bothered by his…rather vocal announcement of his arrival)…thought he was a bird. He (Connor…not the frog.) came into me late the other evening, complaining of a loud bird that was preventing him from fully appreciating the enjoyment of his computer-video-game. When I explained to him that “birds do not sing once the sun goes down”, he felt I should follow him to investigate. As soon as I opened the window, I knew!

See, frogs don’t bother me. Especially if they’re outside and I am inside…and all I have to do is listen to their little mating song. I mean, what’s wrong with that? I would like to think that If I had a mating song, that it would listen to ME….it’s the least I can do.

I also don’t mind frogs that are:

• Small (under 4 inches seems perfect to me.)


• Compact (self-explanatory)


• Non-slimy (also self-explanatory)


• Pretty to look at (in shades of turquoise and hunter or Clinton Kelly green are acceptable….and here you thought I couldn't possibly sneak him in…ha!)

The boys, however, do not seem to share my tolerance for Freddie’s lovesong…they’ve basically said he’s “annoying and way too loud”. They’ve already gone outside with a flashlight in a vain attempt to catch him and “relocate” him to another part of the neighborhood…but I believe that even in the face of this challenge, Freddie would somehow find his way back to us.

For Freddie is a SURVIVOR……(music swells in background)…destined for GREATNESS….in the face of all ADVERSITY, Freddie will somehow find a way to ENDURE….(music reaches crescendo-pitch)…to show humans and reptiles alike that he’s A FIGHTER…that SOMEWHERE, in this great UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, there lives the female-froggie of his DREAMS…if he can just CROAK LOUD ENOUGH FOR HER TO HEAR…:



Unless Freddie looks like this, in which case….he’s outta here. (He IS kinda LOUD.)